I'm Happy, I'm Happy!
by nahcemmy
Summary: Just because your lover is dead and you're homeless, hungry, lonely, and probably sick, doesn't mean you can't be happy! Rin-centric. Implied Len/Rin and Miku/Rin at the end.


Hiding in lonely corners in a big city, many lonely people cried themselves to sleep that night, and many nights before. Only one, one strong thirteen-year-old girl sat in her corner, still awake and still not a tear shed. The same could be said about her friend. She squeezed the little plush doll gently, stroking its velvet blonde hair as she asked it in a tired voice.

"Do you believe me? When I say I'm so happy?" A loving kiss was placed on the plush face, and after receiving no answer, she smiled and whispered in its ear. "I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy," her voice got smaller as her eyes slowly closed, fatigue finally taking control. "I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy…" She was asleep.

She was awake and smiling again the next rainy morning. Her friend was safe in her arms, bouncing up and down as she hopped on the sidewalk, avoiding the cracks that tried to trip her. Had her and her friend's tattered apparel been a little less gray and downtrodden, their blonde hair less greasy and disheveled, and their skin better washed and cared for, they could have passed as normal. Ignoring the curious stares and disgusted looks, she quietly sang a little song. "I walked on the streets ," she giggled at her mistake, and stopped hopping to sing properly. "They felt good beneath my bare feet." She stopped when someone gasped and pointed at the little red trail on the sidewalk that was washed away by the rain. Unfazed, she continued. "I'm bleeding, but just a lot!"

"I'm so happy!" The barking of street dogs ended as soon as she entered the alley. "I took the long way home." She paused to smile at the silent dogs, who looked a lot like her with their soggy, bedraggled appearance. Her voice got lower, losing some of its cheeriness. "Until I realized," she walked past, causing the dogs to turn their heads. "I had none."

The soft voice grew louder and more determined as the rain turned into a thunder storm. "But it's okay as long as I'm smiling!" Her smile grew wider as she sung this verse. Lightning flashed, lighting up the sky reflected in her eyes. "The word may turn gray…or black…or blue, but I'll still be smiling with you!" A blast of thunder made her jump and a blue eye popped out of the doll as the grip on it tightened. "The world may turn yellow…or green…or red…" She gasped and quickly popped the eye back in place, never once stopping the song even as she giggled madly. "But I'll still be smiling even though you're dead!"

Her head bobbed back in forth as she swung the doll around, back in forth so it was in tune with her footsteps. The song escalated and got higher as the rain pummeled her abused frame. It was comforting in a way, like a cold shower turned on full blast. She could feel the cuts reopening, but the blood was just washed away, dripping down her arms and legs. "I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy!" Back and forth. Back and forth. Boom and flash. "Walking alone is fun. It gives me something to think about. I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy!" Back and forth. Back and forth. Growl.

"SHUT UP!"

"Standing in the rain is fun. It gives me shivers when you kiss me." On cue like always, her smile was wiped away and she started shivering violently as the raindrops slapped her face, a little slipping past her lips. An angry kiss, but still a kiss, she thought with a renewed smile. "I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy!" The guy who screamed at her a moment ago tackled her, sending her flying into the mud, soiling her and her friend.

"I said shut up, you little brat," he breathed into her ear. Screaming and thrashing as his hands tried to defile her, she managed to slip away just barely, her friend in tow. She stopped running when she couldn't hear him shouting. Exhausted from the work out, she found a dark corner, one much like hers, and curled into a ball. When more thunder ripped through the sky, followed by a flash of light, she started giggling. "Running away is fun. It gives me something to live for." She wiped some mud off the doll's face, pausing to give it a goodnight kiss, and then closing her eyes, a smile still in place. "I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy…"

It was another rainy day and it appeared that it would be nonstop for awhile. The thought of awaking to the rain every morning made her smile. She closed her eyes, letting the rain, now reduced to a soft patter, caress her face. Her rare moment of peace was interrupted by her stomach growling fiercely. She realized for the first time in days she was famished. She looked at the emotionless doll face wrapped in her arms. "Time for breakfast," she declared joyfully.

After fishing out some food from the trash, she continued her song as she held her nose and swallowed the strange looking piece of something. "I had some food today," she croaked. "It tasted delicious...in my mind." Her mouth watered as she pictured some tasty looking restaurant that teased her from the windows. She looked back down at the food, which held the appearance of a bird of some sort, and sang happily. "It's spoiled, but just by a couple…years."

Back on the sidewalk, she went to the next verse. "I'm so happy!" She noticed a group of schoolgirls walking toward her and she smiled at them, even waving at them. She received some strange looks and heard two of the girls giggling and whispering as they passed her by, as if she was part of the scenery. She paused briefly, but continued following them, wondering where they were going. "I greeted my friends," she sang under her breath, "Until I realized they were strangers."

"B-but it's fine as long as I smile!" Alone once again, she held her friend up, attempting to pull its face into a smile. She just managed to tear the fabric. "People may hurt you badly, but I'll smile and laugh sadly." Realizing what she said, she laughed, but not happily. Ignoring the wound, she started picking at the scabs on her hands. "People may hurt you every day, but I'll smile and laugh in pain…" Her smile got smaller for a second. No, it should be "laugh the pain away," she told herself.

"I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy!" Back in the crowd, she was beaming once again, singing a silly little song. "Talking to no one is fun. It makes people notice me." She bared her teeth in a grin when more bystanders looked at her funny. "I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy!" She saw a couple sleeping on a bench, one huge scarf wrapped around them. "Sleeping in the cold is fun. It gives me shivers when you touch me." Once again, her smile dropped and she shivered. Whether it was because of the cold or the thought of her lover, she didn't know. Clutching on tightly to her lover's tiny form, she tried to smile again, but realized she was standing in front of the now awake couple.

"Get out of here!" They both screamed at her, making her shriek and run away. The cold slashed at her face ruthlessly, the rain getting harder and everything getting sharper. She slowed to a stop once she was back in the safety of the dark alley. Smiling like crazy now with her newly found adrenaline rush, she sang out the last lyrics to the verse. "Running away is fun. It gives me something to die for."

Sitting up against the dilapidated wall, she looked down at her poor lover, who was missing and eye again and seemed more wounded then before. Nuzzling it against her flat chest, she sang sweetly to it once more, is if it were dying. "I was so happy today…It was fun. I was so happy today. I didn't realize…I was sad." Her last words died away with the rain, reduced to a drizzle now. The cold kept biting at her face and for a split second, her vision got blurry.

She shook her head wildly, her voice going up a pitch and sounding more strained then before. "I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy!" It couldn't be called a smile now, it was more like a scar then a smile. "Lying to myself is fun. It gives me something to believe!" Her eyes dilated, the aqua blue irises now not so happy anymore. "I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I am happy! Pretending is fun. It makes reality seem warm." A part of her screamed inside, telling her there was no more pretending. Her body started shaking involuntarily. "I am happy, I am happy, I am happy, I-I am happy!" She winced when something bright blinded her temporarily.

As she looked up, she realized the clouds had parted, letting the sunlight pour through. "The sun is shining now." As her eyes met the sky, she started to tear up as the bright light invaded her eyes. Even when she buried her face in her lovers sewn up body, the salty teardrops wouldn't stop. The end of the song came out as a dry whisper. "…It's very sad."

A couple minutes passed as she continued to cry, not caring if her song and her life were ruined. Not caring if anyone heard, not caring if her former lover heard her…she sniffed. No, she told herself, he's dead now. I can't accept a dead person's promise…"I tried," she cried out. "I tried to be happy, for you, but you're not here." Another wave of panic overcame her, and she screamed in desperation, tossing the doll aside and openly crying into her dirty hands. A couple more minutes and then there was silence. Until she heard footsteps come her way.

The first thing that entered her line of vision was a sea of aquamarine. She blinked once in confusion, wondering if she truly lost it, then wiped her eyes. "Oh!" She gasped. It was hair. Long hair tied up in tidy pigtails that tickled her face. A pale hand moved away the hair, and her watery eyes widened when she saw a pale girl gaze at her, with worried eyes the same color and just as beautiful as her hair. The pretty girl wrinkled her nose, but never pulled back. The stranger crouched lower until she was shorter than the little girl. Suddenly, a wave of recognition washed over her face.

"I know you!" She declared with a triumphant smile. "You're that homeless girl singing that song every day, always with a smile on your face!" Taking no notice of said homeless girl, she continued rambling. "You're truly an inspiration! Every day I hear you and see you walk by the hell hole I have to work at. And every day, I think, "Wow! She's probably homeless and alone and yet she appreciates life so much! I shouldn't be complaining!" I know it sounds strange, but you've truly made my life better." She finally took a breath, and stared intently at the little girl. "So, what's wrong?"

The shocked little girl lowered her eyes so that she was staring at the girl's shoes and told her in a cracked voice. "I realized I'm not happy." Curiously, she looked back up to see the girl's reaction. She looked disappointed, but she seemed more worried about her then herself. She blew a strand of hair out of her face before replying.

"That must've sucked." Suddenly, her face lit up as an idea popped into her head. "Hey, if you're sad then I'll be sad, and then life would suck again. Life sucks when you're alone. So, why don't you come back to my place? We can be sad _together _and then life won't suck so much! Or, even better, we could be happy together! C'mon what'dya say?" The stranger's childish logic made perfect sense to her. She couldn't refuse the extended hand meant for her to hold.

She nodded eagerly and took the older girl's clean hand into her own muddy one. The latter didn't seem to mind a bit. Pulling her new friend up, she realized they never exchanged names. "By the way," she added. "My name's Hatsune Miku. What's yours?" The blonde-haired child replied. "My name's Kagamine Rin, and this is…" She looked at the doll just lying on the ground. Somehow, it seemed at peace that way. She smiled, a real and better-than-a-simper-smile, and looked up at her new older friend.

"That was Kagamine Len. He made me very happy, so you'd better do the same!"

Miku just grinned at the selfish request. "Well, you look very happy now."

**A/N: Blah, crappy title and crappy song. I should be finishing the second chapter to The Alluring Secret, but this just wouldn't leave me alone! I was going to make it a sad ending, but I wanted to tie up any loose ends. Hope you enjoyed! Please R&R!**


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